


Jareor

by CelestialHeavens1



Series: Aliit (Family) [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Clone Wars (2003) - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Anakin is still kind of an idiot, But at least he's starting to grow a brain, Clone Wars era, Despite what Boba thinks, F/M, Found Families, Gen, Hearing Voices, Knight Anakin Skywalker, Knighting, Padmé and Obi-Wan are friends, Post-Star Wars: Attack of the Clones, Pre-Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Self-Hatred, Self-Sacrifice, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-30 09:09:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12105411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelestialHeavens1/pseuds/CelestialHeavens1
Summary: Anakin tells Obi-Wan about what happened on Tatooine. Things go about as well as expected.





	1. Chapter 1

Jareor

To recklessly risk your life, foolish, not brave

* * *

Anakin woke up in his bed in the Temple, in the apartment he shared with Obi-Wan. That in itself wasn’t so strange, except when he considered the fact that he hadn’t slept there in months. He had been on a ship or if he was on Coruscant, at Padmé’s apartment. Waking up alone in a real bed was unnerving anymore. Never mind that, it was downright disorienting to wake up in the Temple.

There was a knock on the door before it opened and the light flooded in. Anakin groaned and covered his eyes with his arm. Obi-Wan chuckled from the doorway.

“Oh Anakin, what will I do with you?”

He peeked up at his master from under his arm.

“What time even is it?” He asked, looking at the older man. 

“It's almost time for your knighting ceremony.” A flash of irrational panic shot through him. It was really happening. Obi-Wan wouldn't be able to protect him anymore from the Council and their criticism. He would be on his own. The Council would tear him to threads. They hated him. If they ever found out what he had done, any of it…

As if sensing his line of thought, Obi-Wan frowned and sat on the edge of the bed. 

“What's wrong, Anakin?”

“Nothing’s wrong. Why would you think something is?”

He couldn’t be a knight. He would make a terrible knight. And no padawan would ever want him as a master. Not a one. Most knights had spent time in the crèche as padawans, so the younglings wanted to be assigned to them. But he hadn’t and he knew that the other padawans had and they would have talked. 

If the other padawans knew what he had done, there wouldn’t be a place in the galaxy he could go to get away from it.

His master frowned. “You're a terrible liar.”

“I am not,” he scoffed indignantly. “I'm an excellent liar.”

“I'm so sure,” his master drawled sarcastically. “So what exactly of nothing is wrong?”

Anakin kept silent as he sat up on the bed. If he was such a bad liar, he’d give himself away and that was the last thing he wanted to do. The last thing he could do. He’d be a criminal in the eyes of the Republic. He’d never be allowed to see his family again.

 _You can’t trust Obi-Wan,_ a little voice whispered inside his head, _he’ll go straight to the Council if you tell him._

Except that wasn’t right. How could that be right? He had told Obi-Wan about him and Padmé and his master hadn’t gone to the Council. He had gone AWOL to rescue Boba and Obi-Wan hadn’t breathed a word of it to the Council. If he could trust Obi-Wan with that, couldn’t he trust him with what happened with the Tuskens?

“You’re not going to like it,” he started with.

“I already don’t like it. Whatever it is is eating you up inside. I can feel that much.” Anakin winced. He hadn’t realized just how much he had been projecting through their training bond. Obi-Wan sighed, moving closer to him. His hand rested on Anakin’s shoulder. “Whatever it is, Padawan, you can tell me.”

“It’s about my mother’s death.”

Obi-Wan’s brow furrowed. “The visions?”

Anakin shook his head. “No. After the visions.” He sighed, running his hand through his hair. “Padmé insisted we go. I kept having the nightmares and she was worried. In them, the Tuskens were torturing my mother.”

He felt his master stiffen. Obi-Wan already knew that part, but it still was hard to hear. He didn’t say anything, so Anakin continued.

“When I found her, it was so much worse.” He stifled a sob. “She was still alive. They tortured her for over a month and she lived through it. She died in my arms.”

He heard Obi-Wan take in a sharp breath. But he couldn’t face him. He had to finish telling him before the voice convinced him otherwise. Even now, it was whispering, asking him _what he was doing, didn’t he know Obi-Wan would tell the Council. He would be expelled, arrested. Obi-Wan would turn Padmé and Boba against him._

Except why would he? He had been so used to listening to that voice, but since the day before, when Obi-Wan had promised to keep his family secret, he couldn’t help but question it. Because if it had been wrong about that, it could be wrong about everything.

The voice had been the one to tell him to kill the sand people. _They deserve it. They’re animals. You should slaughter them, just like animals. Do it._

Anakin felt sick.

Obi-Wan’s hand slide from his shoulder, pulling him closer, holding him in a way he hadn’t since Anakin had been a very small child.

“There’s more,” he said flatly, his voice a question and Anakin nodded, unable to speak.

“I killed them,” he whispered horrified. “I couldn’t help it. This voice in my head kept saying that they deserved it. That they were animals. And I knew it was wrong and I didn't care and-”

He cut off, his words unable to come out. He felt so consumed by his guilt now. When he had first done it, there had been no guilt. In fact, the voice had seem proud of him. _Good, Anakin._ When he had reached the Lars’ homestead, a war had started in his mind.

He could feel Obi-Wan’s disappointment, his grief. He closed his eyes against it and pulled away.

“I should tell the Council,” Anakin said flatly, sitting up and reaching for his boots to tug on.

“No, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said firmly. “You will not go turning yourself in. What will it change now?”

“I murdered an entire tribe of sentient beings. I deserve whatever the Council’s going to do to me.” For a change, he didn't add.

His master was staring at him with that sad, disappointed look in his eyes. He turned away and headed to the door.

“What good will it do, Anakin?” 

That made him stop. Obi-Wan sounded tired, in pain. But there was something else in his voice, something he couldn’t place.

And he was right. What good would it do? It wouldn’t bring back the ones he had killed. It wouldn’t bring back his mother.

“And what of Padmé and young Boba?” That was low and Obi-Wan had to know it. How could he turn his back so readily on his family?

He closed his eyes against his thoughts, trying to silence them. The voice, for once, was silent. Perhaps it agreed with Obi-Wan. Perhaps that was unacceptable to it. He left their apartment without a second look back.


	2. Chapter 2

Anakin shifted from foot to foot as he stood outside the Council’s doors. He didn’t know what he was going to do, but figured he should trust the Force on this matter. If it came out of his mouth when he was in there, then they were supposed to know.

On the other hand, Obi-Wan was right. What good would it do if he gave himself up? What good would it do Padmé or Boba? He sighed.

Traditionally, padawans did not have their masters in during the ceremony, but they were accompanied to the outside of the Council’s doors before it. But Obi-Wan was not there and it hurt. 

 _See,_ the voice whispered, _he doesn’t care about you._

The doors opened.

Anakin took a deep breath to center himself, then walked in.

It was not a full Council. Many of the members who had died at Geonosis had yet to be replaced. He had heard rumors that Obi-Wan was being considered, but he hadn’t been sworn in yet. 

The remaining masters were standing, lightsaber drawn.

He knelt before Master Yoda, remembering what Obi-Wan had told him to do last night, and bowed his head.

“Anakin Skywalker,” Mace Windu’s voice boomed and Anakin felt his chest tighten. “You faced your trials on Geonosis, where you followed your instincts as well as your orders. You walked a fine line and proved to this Council that you are ready to be knighted.”

Only Mace Windu could simultaneously give him a compliment and a criticism in the same statement. 

Yoda pulled his lightsaber and ignited it, lowering it over Anakin’s right shoulder. “By the right of the Council,” he moved it to the other shoulder, “by the will of the Force, I dub thee Jedi Knight of the Republic.”

The blade hummed near his ear as it severed the braid from Anakin’s hair. His head felt strangely naked without it.

“Rise, Anakin Skywalker.”

Anakin reached for his braid off the floor and pocketed it before he bowed to the Council. “Thank you, Master,” he said, as the tradition went.

He moved from the room. It was customary for a new knight to be greeted by his former master, but Obi-Wan wasn’t there. 

_He’s not proud of you. He doesn’t think you’re ready._

Anakin shuttered, trying to shut the voice out. He reached for their bond but found it strangely blocked. Since his master was no where to be found and he was still on leave, he left the Temple.

* * *

Anakin had only been in Padmé’s office a handful of times, most of which had been on official business. But he had no real reason for being there, other than he wanted to see her. 

“Padawan Skywalker!” a woman cried out in excitement. Teckla Minnau, Padmé’s aide, stood up from behind her desk. She took in the sight of him lacking the braid. “Were you, I mean, are you a knight now?”

He smiled. “Yes. As of this morning.”

She clapped her hands together. “How thrilling! Congratulations!” She smiled at him so warmly that he knew she meant it. “Are you here to see Senator Amidala?”

He bowed his head in acknowledgement. “I am.”

She nodded and moved to the door that separated the offices. “Senator, Knight Skywalker is here to see you."

He heard his wife’s gasp and he moved to meet her as Teckla deliberately ignored Padmé throwing her arms around him. 

“Knight? Anakin, that’s wonderful.” She kissed him and when they broke apart, he laughed. He hadn’t told her the day before when he had left Boba with her that was the reason they wanted him back at the Temple. Part of him hadn’t believed it.

“What’s the big deal?” a grumpy voice came from the corner. Boba was dressed in an outfit that told him Padmé’s handmaidens had gotten to the boy. He appeared to be protesting his treatment by sitting with his legs hanging off the back of the chair and his head off the air.

“Sorry, kid,” he told Boba, ruffling his son’s hair. He received an upside-down glare and crossed arms that reminded him strangely of Obi-Wan.

“They said a beskar’gam wasn’t proper clothing,” he griped.

If Padmé wasn’t there, he might of said something along the lines of ‘It is on the battlefield.’ But then Boba would want to come with him to war and his wife would be angry and then he’d have to explain why he had a ten-year-old who wasn’t a padawan following him around.

Instead, he settled for a chuckle. But he sympathized with the kid. He really did.

His wife leaned her head against his shoulder. “I wish I had known you were coming. I would have cleared my schedule. We should really celebrate.”

He kissed her again, softly this time. “All I really want is a quiet dinner with the two of you. I’m shipping out in the morning, with my own unit.” Padmé shifted, as if a little uncomfortable. “What?”

“No Obi-Wan?”

He shook his head. “They need officers who can command their own units on the front. Why?” 

She shrugged, but looked so sad that it made him feel the same. “I liked the idea of you fighting beside Obi-Wan. I knew he was always going to bring you home to me.”

His chest tightened. He knew she was right. It was strange to think of himself heading into battle without his master watching his back. “I will do everything within my power to come home to the two of you.” That made the corners of her lips lift slightly and he bent down to capture her lips again.

Boba made a gagging sound and he was rather tempted to smack the kid upside the head. The worst part was that he knew he had been just as bad when he was a child. How exactly his mother and Obi-Wan had dealt with him, he didn’t know.

* * *

Dinner was a quiet affair that passed without anything notable occurring. The only thing that happened was that Padmé decided that they would see him off from the dock, since none of the Jedi planned to.

And so, bright and early at 0515, he, Padmé, and Boba gather on the port that the _Defiant_ was docked to take him up to his new flagship.

He kissed Padmé goodbye and he could see the effort it was taking her to keep the tears from her eyes. He held her tightly in his arms and prayed for the day the war was over so he never had to leave her. 

He forced himself to drop his arms and she pulled away, kissing him one last time before she headed towards the speeder. Perhaps she thought he wouldn’t go if she was too close. She might have been on to something.

He turned to Boba. He wasn’t exactly sure how he said goodbye to someone that he had grown to love in less than a week of knowing them. Instead, Boba spot with his usual amount of tact.

“If you’re going out to war and are possibly never returning, why isn’t Obi-Wan here?” Boba asked. “You told me lots of stories about him. I thought the two of you were like brothers.”

“We…” What could he say to explain? “We had a fight.”

“A fight?” Boba crossed his arms, giving him a look that clearly said he wasn’t buying it. “That kind of sounds like you screwed things up.”

The kid was a little too preceptive. He’d almost suspect Force sensitivity, but common sense could be just as powerful. He had forgotten that, becoming too reliant on his abilities and not reliant enough on his brain.

“Yeah kid, you’re on to something there,” he said, ruffling Boba’s hair.

Boba glared. “I’m not a kid. I’m ten.”

He chuckled. “No, I guess not.” He dropped down so he was eye level with him. “I guess that makes you the man of the house while I’m gone.” He glanced back across the platform to where his wife was. “Take care of her.”

The kid quirked the corner of his lip, but otherwise didn’t reply. Apparently he didn’t think the request deemed a response. He obviously would.

He stood and headed towards the _Defiant_. There were no clones on the ground, though wasn’t entirely surprising. He hadn’t actually been meant to report until 0530, but Padmé wanted to see him off.

“K’oyacyi!” Boba called after him. It sounded like an order, but for the life of him, he didn’t know what it meant. Instead, he lifted a hand and waved goodbye.

Boba jumped in the speeder and it took off as a clone with armor that marked him as a captain disembarked and saluted.

“Sir, CT-7567 reporting, sir.”

“At ease, Captain.”

“Sir.” The clone moved to walk beside him to the transport. “I have the mission briefing that was sent by General Windu.”

Anakin nodded. “Thank you, Captain.”

It was two days later, after their first battle where he took shrapnel to the ribs, that the Captain told him that his name was Rex. It was at that time he learned 6116- his medic’s name was Kix and he was forbidden to ever go and pull a stunt like that again. As if he planned on being next to droids when they exploded in the future.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beskar’gam - "iron skin" - Mandalorian armor  
> K’oyacyi - "Cheers!" Also "Hang in there" or "Come back safely."; lit. command: "Stay alive!" I figure Boba's using it as "Come back safely," but more likely in the literal sense.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan talks to Padmé.

Obi-Wan felt restless. He was shipping back out tomorrow and hadn’t heard from Anakin in days. He hadn’t heard anything about Anakin being arrested, but he figured if that was the case, the Council would have hushed it up. After all, a padawan going off the rails and murdering beings, that would be bad publicity.

His heart clenched at the thought. The Anakin he had known would have never run off to kill sentients so readily. Anakin valued life, more highly than the Council, he thought. It was so out of character. Even during the war he made a point to honor each clone lost under his command by name. 

That he would go off and kill in anger was disturbing.

Yes, Anakin had always had a temper. He had known it from the first time he had lain eyes on the boy, had told his master as much. But his temper had always been rather in check. Quick, violent bursts before it subsided and he was apologetic. Like a sandstorm, the boy had explained once. He was the desert and his emotions were the sandstorms. He thought it was a rather good explanation, but one of the other masters had told Anakin that it signified an attachment to his past.

He had been rather disappointed to learn that Anakin had been shipped out. More so that Anakin hadn't told him. Though he hadn't exactly been available for him to do so, too afraid that if he was in contact, he'd hear that instead of being knighted, his padawan was dragged from the Council in binders. 

He was still worried that his former padawan was forced to ship out, that he might have still been arrested and the Council had decided on a sort of work release program for him. After all, Anakin was becoming a rather well liked figure in the Republic. The young Jedi knight, good looking and talented, friends with the Supreme Chancellor. The Holonet loved Anakin and so did the general populace.

That was how he decided he would go to see Senator Amidala. He wasn't expecting young Boba Fett to be sitting in the outer office, looking bored out of his mind. Threepio was fussing over him. He almost looked like a proper young man, dressed in a pair of trousers and a shirt of obvious Nubian design and make. He was bent over the Senator’s aide’s desk, working intently on something. 

“Hello there.”

Boba looked up at him and blinked. “Hi.”

“Is the Senator around?”

The boy shrugged. “She's in a session. She told me to stay here and do my on school work.” He made a face.

Obi-Wan chuckled. He could see why Anakin liked the boy so much. There were definitely some similarities.

The boy shifted around in his chair so that he could face his guest properly.

“Anakin said you two had a fight and that kaysh mirsh solus.” Obi-Wan made an amused sound. If not for the Duchess, the boy’s comment might have been lost on him.

“That does not sound like something Anakin would say at all.”

Boba shrugged, as if the fact Obi-Wan didn’t believe him didn’t bother him one bit. It made the Jedi smile.

Senator Amidala entered her outer office, followed by her retinue. When she saw him, she stopped short, and stared for a moment. He knew that Anakin must have told her, at least in part, about what had happened.

“Master Jedi, to what do I owe this visit?” she asked formally.

“Just some business, if you have a moment, Senator.”

She bowed her head, then turned to her staff. “If you will excuse me.” Then she led Obi-Wan into her office. Behind closed doors, her panic showed though. “Is Anakin okay?”

“I'm afraid I wouldn't know. I have seen or heard from him since the morning of his knighting.” He didn't mention that he thought Anakin might have turned himself in for murdering the Sand People. He didn't know if she already knew and didn't want to cause any problems where there were none.

The Senator sank into her chair, looking very tired. “He said the two of you had a disagreement. That he told you about what happened on Tatooine.” It seemed his fears were misplaced and she did already know. 

It also meant she had spoken to him after the knighting ceremony. There was no small amount of relief he felt at that. After all, it meant that Anakin hadn’t acted irrationally and turned himself in. But no one had talked about his former padawan in front of him in days, so he had worried.

“Yes.” He took the seat across the from her desk. “I'm afraid that was ill judgement on my part. I should know better than try to convince Anakin to do or not to do anything.” A small smile ghosted her lips. “How are you finding it? Being a mother?”

At this, a true smile broke over her face. “Boba has been wonderful. Challenging, of course, but he's very sweet. When he wants to be.”

Obi-Wan laughed. Yes, just like Anakin at that age. Or at any age really. It seemed his former apprentice was getting a taste of his own medicine. He could really appreciate that. He remembered as a padawan hearing other masters wish on their students that were just as bad as their apprentices had been.

“I’m shipping out tomorrow,” he told her. “I do believe the Council will be sending me to rendezvous with Anakin and the 501st. I’ll watch out for him.” 

She looked up at him. “I wouldn’t worry so much if I didn’t know how reckless he was.”

He had to smile at that because he knew exactly what she meant. Sitting in this room were perhaps the two people who loved Anakin most in all the galaxy and perhaps knew him the best. Although from young Boba’s statement, he thought the child might know Anakin better than Anakin knew himself.

But he looked at her and she looked tired. All the stress of failed legislations for clone rights and against the war had to be eating at her. Dealing with that and a husband who was fighting in the same war and a child she had been unprepared for seemed to have aged her as much as it had made Anakin mature.

“Please take care of yourself, Padmé,” he told the younger woman. “If you need anything, you can always comm me. Even if I’m not on world.”

He would always take care of her and Boba. Anakin was his brother, his dearest friend. The least he could do for him was take care of his family.

“Thank you, Obi-Wan. I appreciate it.”

He gave her a bow and exited her office.

“Behave for the Senator,” he told the boy as he left the reception area. 

Boba glanced up, amused. “Ret’!”

Obi-Wan chuckled. The child might not be related by blood, but he was definitely Anakin’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kaysh mirsh solus - "He's an idiot"; literally: "His brain cells are lonely."  
> Ret’ - "Bye" or "See you." Short form of "Ret'urcye mhi" - Goodbye; literally: "Maybe we'll meet again"
> 
> Not a whole lot is accomplished in this chapter other than I kind of felt like Obi-Wan needed to know where Anakin and Padmé stood without coming out and saying it. After all, Anakin was pretty obsessed with Padmé for a decade without seeing her. He didn't know what their relationship was like and wanted to feel it out and also wanted to know if she knew anything.

**Author's Note:**

> Survived the hurricane. Power back on. Yay! Lots of trees down everywhere. 
> 
> So Anakin is hearing voices and listening to what they say to do. Because that's definitely a good idea.


End file.
